What If Students Practiced Emotional Regulation as Often as They Practiced Reading?

There was a time when literacy wasn't considered a universal skill.

For centuries, reading and writing were privileges available to only a portion of the population. Today, that's difficult to imagine. While there is always room for growth, we've learned how to teach literacy on a mass scale. Reading has become an expected part of everyday life, and schools have played a tremendous role in making that possible.

But literacy didn't become widespread simply because schools taught reading. It became widespread because reading became embedded into daily life.

A preschooler learns letters and sounds, then excitedly begins pointing them out on street signs, cereal boxes, restaurant menus, and the pages of their favorite books. An elementary student reads classroom schedules, morning announcements, directions, anchor charts, and library books. They don't practice reading during one isolated lesson. They practice it all day long.

Reading isn't simply taught. It's practiced.

And because students have dozens of opportunities every day to strengthen that skill, they naturally become stronger readers over time. The system itself creates the practice.

What if emotional regulation developed the same way?

Social and emotional competencies are just as essential to a child's long-term success as literacy. Students need to recognize their emotions, manage frustration, recover from setbacks, collaborate with others, and stay engaged when learning—or life— becomes difficult.

Most schools recognize that. That's why many elementary campuses dedicate time each morning to social and emotional learning. These lessons are valuable. They help students build emotional vocabulary, recognize feelings, develop empathy, and begin understanding themselves and others.

But learning about regulation and practicing regulation aren't the same thing.

Imagine trying to learn the violin by studying music theory alone. You might understand notes, rhythm, and technique. But unless you regularly pick up the instrument and practice, you'll never become a musician.

Developing self-regulatory skills works the same way.

Students don't develop emotional regulation compotencies simply because they've discussed calming strategies during morning meeting. They develop regulation by repeatedly practicing those skills in the moments they actually need them.

This raises an interesting leadership question. What if emotional regulation wasn't confined to one block of the day? What if students practiced these skills just as frequently as they practiced reading? Not through another curriculum. Not through another initiative. But by intentionally designing opportunities that already exist throughout the school day.

Because the truth is, those opportunities are already there. Think about the parts of the school day that naturally place new demands on students.

• Returning from recess.

• Coming back from lunch.

• Transitioning between subjects.

• Entering the classroom each morning.

• Preparing for dismissal.

These are the predictable stress points during the school day.  They are the moments that ask students to leave one demand and successfully engage in the next. They require students to shift their attention, regulate their emotions, manage their energy, and prepare their brains and bodies for learning.

In many elementary schools educators have already recognize these moments as challenging and the response is often a quick brain break or movement activity. Those certainly have value. Students need opportunities to move. But movement alone doesn't necessarily prepare students for what's next. For sitting. For focusing. For collaborating. For learning.

What if those same moments became opportunities to both move the body and settle the mind? What if schools intentionally embedded emotional regulation practice into transitions instead of confining it to morning meeting?

And transitions are only one part of the picture. If students are going to practice emotional regulation throughout the day, the surrounding systems need to support that practice. They need environments that feel predictable. Adults who respond consistently. Transitions that don't rely on students simply figuring it out on their own.

In my work with elementary schools, I've found these opportunities tend to fall into three schoolwide systems:

• Environmental Predictability which creates the predictable spaces that allows students to feel safe enough to learn.

• Transition Readiness which supports students as they move successfully from one demand to the next.

• Adult Alignment ensures students experience consistent language, expectations, and responses from all of the adults they encounter throughout the school day. 

None of these systems require schools to abandon what they're already doing. Instead, they strengthen the opportunities students already have to practice regulation throughout the day. And that's where I believe the real opportunity exists.

When schools intentionally create these conditions, they're doing far more than reducing behavior referrals or protecting instructional time. They're helping students repeatedly practice one of the most important lifelong skills they'll ever develop: the ability to manage the emotions that can interfere with learning, relationships, and everyday life.

Just as literacy became widespread because society created endless opportunities to practice reading, perhaps emotional regulation develops best when schools intentionally create opportunities to practice regulation.

Not once a day. But throughout the entire school day.

Because student readiness isn't something schools simply hope for. It's something they intentionally design.

Continue the Conversation

If this article sparked a different way of thinking about how students develop emotional regulation, I invite you to download my complimentary leadership reflection:

Before the First Bell: 7 Leadership Decisions That Shape the Entire School Year

It's a one-page reflection designed to help school leaders identify the schoolwide systems that create the conditions for emotional regulation, instructional readiness, and learning from the very beginning of the school day.

I hope it helps you begin seeing your school through a different lens.