SEL Doesn’t Reset Behavior After Breaks—Practice Does

For elementary school leaders navigating post-break behavior challenges.

January is often when school leaders feel a quiet sense of whiplash.

Students return from break more dysregulated than expected.
Teachers feel like they’re starting over.
Behavior referrals spike—even in schools with strong SEL programs.

And the common response is almost universal:

• Review expectations.
  
  
• Reteach routines.
  
  
• Remind students what they already know.
  
  

This response makes sense — but it assumes behavior is a memory problem.

Yet for many schools, this doesn’t produce the reset they’re hoping for.

That’s not because SEL “isn’t working.”
It’s because SEL knowledge alone doesn’t automatically translate into regulated behavior—especially after a disruption.

Knowing Is Not the Same as Doing

Most students know what the expectations are by January.
They can often articulate calming strategies.
They’ve sat through SEL lessons that explain emotions and choices.

But regulation isn’t a concept you recall on command.

It’s a skill that only shows up when it’s practiced inside real, dysregulating moments—not just discussed in calm ones.

After winter break, students aren’t failing to remember expectations.
They’re struggling to apply regulation skills while their nervous systems are still recalibrating.

That distinction matters.

Why January Feels Harder Than September

In September, schools expect dysregulation.
Structures are new. Grace is built in. Support is intentional.

In January, the assumption is different:
They should know better by now.

But January introduces its own challenges:

• Routines were disrupted for weeks
  
  
• Sleep, structure, and predictability shifted
  
  
• Emotional bandwidth is lower for students and adults
  
  

The nervous system doesn’t reset just because the calendar does.

When regulation skills haven’t been consistently practiced during transitions throughout the year, breaks expose the gap.

The Real Lever: Transitions

In my work with elementary schools, this is where the pattern shows up most clearly.

Most January behavior issues don’t happen during instruction.

They happen:

• In the first minutes of arrival
  
  
• When moving between activities
  
  
• After recess, lunch, or specials
  
  
• During unstructured moments that feel “in-between”
  
  

These are the moments when regulation is required—but often unsupported.

If SEL lives primarily in a scheduled block, it’s absent precisely when students need it most.

Transitions are where regulation either gets practiced—or breaks down.

Why “Reviewing Expectations” Falls Short

Reviewing expectations assumes behavior is a memory problem.

January behavior is rarely about forgetting rules.
It’s about overloaded systems trying to self-regulate without enough support.

When schools rely on reminders instead of rehearsal, they miss the opportunity to:

• Normalize regulation as something we do, not something we talk about
  
  
• Reduce decision fatigue for teachers
  
  
• Re-establish predictability for students
  
  

Expectations don’t regulate nervous systems.
Practices do.

Consistency Is the Reset

The most effective January resets don’t add new programs.

They simplify.

They ask:

• Where do we expect regulation to happen every day?
  
  
• Are those moments consistent across classrooms?
  
  
• Have we practiced regulation during the exact moments that trigger dysregulation?
  
  

When regulation practices are predictable and shared:

• Teachers carry less emotional load
  
  
• Students experience safety through consistency
  
  
• Instruction is protected because fewer moments escalate
  
  

Consistency isn’t rigidity.
It’s relief.

A Different Way to Think About January

January doesn’t need more reminders.
It needs rehearsal in real time.

When schools treat regulation as a daily practice—embedded into transitions rather than isolated in lessons—January becomes less about starting over and more about re-establishing rhythm.

SEL doesn’t reset behavior after breaks.
But intentional, consistent regulation practice does.

And the good news is:
That reset doesn’t require something new—just something more embedded.

If you’re a school leader noticing this pattern on your campus, you’re not alone. January exposes what hasn’t been practiced consistently — and it also points to where the greatest leverage lives.